The happiest funeral they'd ever been to

"When I die I want everyone to celebrate" That's what my grandma told me one summer day when I stayed with her as a child. I confess...I didn't like Grandma very much at the time...so I found it odd she was giving me permission to celebrate when she died! She then went on to say that she had lived a long full life and whenever God was ready to take her, she was ready to go be at rest, and that she knew she would soon be home, to a better place.

Little did I know at the time how those words would stick with me and were a seed, planted by God, to prepare me for helping with her funeral more than 15 years later. I never planned to spend her last week with her or be a vital part of planning her service - after all, she has 7 intelligent, capable & caring kids - but I'm truly blessed and thankful that God did give me this opportunity - and more grateful and blessed that He made it possible for me to be there during these two special weeks.

Grandma was a devout catholic who not only attended services every week and embraced the teachings, but, as I realized in this last week I spent with her, she was a woman who also lived a life full of dependance on Christ's promises. She never pushed us to attend church with her; never looked down upon us for our lack of interest (lack of understanding/awareness), never pushed a catholic agenda, but always offered to take us with a joyful interest in going, herself. That glowing commitment, though I failed to see it at the time, had a lasting impact on me that I'll cherish forever. It was one of the early seeds God planted in my heart.

In a letter written in 1985, she stated she didn't want any tears or sorrow at her funeral. She wanted up beat, joyful music - mostly older songs. She also listed 4 songs she really liked - Amazing Grace, Abide with Me, Just a Closer Walk with Thee, and What a Friend we Have in Jesus. I knew Grandma was a devout catholic, but it wasn't until this last week that I realized how much she truly loved Jesus.

We did our best to honor her wishes. I think the priest was a little out of his comfort zone with this service, but he rolled with it with a kind smile on his face. I know God was at work through the whole funeral process - and even the week before in allowing me to spend the time with her that I did.

Grandma passed away in her sleep early Friday morning, Jan 16. My aunt woke me up just after 5am and we headed in to the hospice to see her one last time. A lifeless body sure looks a whole lot different than a living one.

My aunt, mom, Grandpa and I headed back home for breakfast and then off to the funeral home to get everything squared away. We stopped at Grandpa's on the way to pick up a few things and went through some of her belongings. I picked up all her scrapbooks so we could do a slideshow of her life.

Talking to Grandma that last week, going through her scrapbooks (including one from her early years), and seeing the letter she wrote in 1985 regarding her outlook on life and her funeral made me realize how much my Grandma and I have in common, how progressive and forward-thinking she was for her time and how much Love she had. I couldn't find a picture from her early years she wasn't smiling and enjoying life in and it was rare to find a picture, even in her later years, that she wasn't smiling in (even those, I'm sure she was enjoying life none-the-less).

I asked my Grandma what her favorite thing to do was and she said, with a glowing smile on her face, "I like everything."
I asked her what her favorite bible verse was and she said "It's tough to choose. There's so many. They're all important."
I asked her if there was one thing she could tell her kids/grandkids, what would it be? She smiled and said, without hesitation, "Family gatherings"
I asked her what the most important thing she learned about raising kids was and she said, sheepishly beaming, "Frosting." I later found out that frosting was her special way of making kids happy, no matter how unhappy they were.

I knew grandma as a hard worker growing up, but never knew how full of Love she was.

With a strong family effort, we put together a service to celebrate Grandma's 84 years of life, nearly 62 years of marriage, and the massive family she loved so much - in just 2.5 days time. Tears and sorrow aren't entirely unavoidable, but a few people said afterwards it was the happiest funeral they'd ever been to. I think Grandma would have approved.


Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to be of service to my family in these past two weeks and for letting me see the Loving, Christ-centered side of Grandma when You did (when I was ready and the time was right)

Thank you, God, for the community you have given me - the friends, family, coworkers, and life you have given me that has allowed for these joyful, deeply fulfilling experiences - even if they come through seemingly sad times.

And thank you, to all of you (friends, family, church family, coworkers, readers) who's prayers and support have made this possible. I know that God heard your prayers and granted them because the timing of everything in these past two weeks could not have gone more smoothly. Thank you for helping this time be so much more joyful than sorrowful.

Prayer for the passing

Just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers these past few days.

Grandma and I were able to spend a little time together shortly after my arrival (Thank you, God, for answering that prayer) but she has faded a great deal since then. Monday was pretty rough for her as she just couldn't get comfortable no matter what. Mom and I both read to her from the bible that day and I began reminding her that Jesus loves her and is here for her and encouraging her to pray to Jesus whenever she was uncomfortable or struggling. She agreed that was right and this was a good idea - "takes less energy to think [than speak]."

Early Tuesday morning she started reciting the Lord's prayer in her sleep and since then has started praying the Lord's prayer and Hail Mary's pretty regularly since then. Tuesday she rested lightly and calmly throughout the day. She'd wake up from time to time and to eat, but then would fade out again. She was up several hours last night, dreaming vocally and praying, and Today she's been pretty much out cold all day. She slept through breakfast completely, but has managed lunch and dinner.

The dreams and memories have been increasing and one moment she'll be completely out of it and then the next moment she'll be totally in touch with what's going on around here and then she'll be back to dreaming again. I think overall she's fairly comfortable now - less complaining than in days past - but her body is definitely shutting down.

At this point I am just praying that she be in peace and comfort and when she passes, that she goes easily and happily.

What bible verses do you find most suitable for this situation?

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